v.17 On Quiet Joy and Loud Criticism: When Joy Feels Fragile in a Judgmental World
Welcome to Life, Created—a new [old school] blog for modern times. This twice-a-week(ish) dispatch is a space for us to dig deeper, recognize microjoys and build community beyond the mindless scroll.
“Don’t yuck their yum.” It’s a simple phrase that my long-time teacher, Mona Anand, has been sharing for years. Last week, during one of her yoga classes, I was reminded of its wisdom. It’s a gentle but powerful nudge to pause before passing judgment on what brings someone else joy, even when it doesn’t align with our own experiences. Everyone is carrying their own baggage, processing their own stories, and walking their own path. None of those paths are identical.
Yet somehow, the internet has become a place where even harmless moments of frivolity are often met with criticism, especially in the comments section—a space where joy too often goes to die. (Step away, keyboard warriors… step away, ffs.) Many are quick to overanalyze joyful, ridiculous or silly posts—whether it’s a photo of a celebration, or lighthearted moment—through the lens of societal or cultural issues. This hyper-analysis can turn harmless moments of daily life into battlegrounds for judgment, creating a culture where people hesitate to share anything uplifting or delightful. I’ve seen how quickly someone gets labeled “tone deaf” or “out of touch” simply for sharing a moment of happiness when the world feels heavy. Yes, timing absolutely matters in some cases, but more often, these critiques reflect our discomfort with seeing someone else feel good when we don’t. We project our pain onto their joy, as if their happiness somehow diminishes our struggles. It doesn’t. Their joy is their way of coping, their way of finding light in a chaotic world. And honestly, if posting a picture of their rainbow bagel helps them get through the day, who are we to side-eye it?
A wall in our living room that brings ALL. THE. JOY.
Because I’m certainly not immune, when I feel myself teetering into judgment—or lost in the endless doom scroll—I know it’s time to step back temporarily. Social media, for all its connections, can amplify frustration and disconnection. Taking a few days offline helps me recalibrate my emotions and come back with a softer, more open heart. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to try it. There’s no shame in creating boundaries to protect your mental health.
Tabitha Brown says it best at the end of her videos: “Have a good day, but if you can’t, don’t you dare go messing up nobody else’s.” Simple and perfect, right? Because regardless of what we think, people deserve their moments of joy without someone raining on their parade—or, worse, writing a think piece about it. It’s a reminder that while our feelings are valid, we always have the power to pause, reflect, and choose how we show up in the world.
Every time we let someone revel in their yum without judgment, we create a bit more ease in the world. It’s a subtle but impactful way of saying, “I see you. I honor where you are, even if I’m not there with you.” Celebrating someone else’s joy doesn’t take away from our ability to process our own challenges. Instead, it reminds us that even amidst life’s hardest moments, there’s still room for light to sneak in.
We live in a world where social media gives us real-time access to tragedies, triumphs, and everything in between. The collective weight of this can feel both overstimulating and overwhelming. But amidst the heaviness, people find their own ways to feel lighter, even for a second. Someone might post about a beautiful latte, a silly trending dance, or an unreasonably extravagant cake for a pet’s birthday. And sure, while I don’t need to see their pup blowing out candles, I also don’t need to be an asshole about it. (I love puppies, btw.) Though it might seem insignificant to us, to someone else, it’s a reminder that joy still exists—that’s their “yum,” and it’s not our job to “yuck” it, regardless of a culture that tries to tell us otherwise.
What may seem like insignificant things—a perfect latte, pink decor (hi.), a silly meme—are often microjoys, tiny lifelines that offer brief but meaningful moments of relief in the midst of life’s heartbreaks. These moments of joy don’t erase the hard stuff; they simply create space for hope to breathe. They remind us that joy and sorrow can coexist and that even in our darkest times, there’s still room for light. A microjoy isn’t about ignoring the weight of life; it’s about letting the light sneak in when it can.
So, the next time you catch yourself about to yuck someone’s yum, take a deep breath and redirect. Ask yourself: what does it cost you to let them feel good? Spoiler alert: nothing. Instead, it might just inspire you to find your own yum too. Joy is contagious if we allow it it be.
Every essay features a section called “One Fine Microjoy” – an experience, place, or thing that brings me joy, grace, and hope amidst life’s ups and downs. I hope it invites you to recognize and appreciate the delights that ground, inspire, and enrich our journey.
We went out for a cold winter hike and stumbling upon this colorful Tibetan prayer flag in the middle of the woods felt like finding a quiet whisper of hope amidst the stillness. The vibrant colors against the stark, leafless backdrop feels like a reminder that even in the coldest, barest moments, there is still life, intention, and beauty. It’s a microjoy reminder that we’re not alone—and that there’s meaning and connection, even when everything feels frozen.
That’s all for today. Thanks for reading Life, Created.
With love, wisdom [and small mercies] from Montclair. xx
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